Catching the Moment

Just yesterday morning I discovered something new. It was a beautiful Zen sanctuary hidden amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life. A colleague of mine invited me to join a short Zazen (sitting meditation) practice along with a communal lunch. I was out of my element to find myself staring at a wall.

Then the bell rang. A stout yet smiling middle aged man entered.  He, the Zen teacher, sat and began telling this story: 

My son is at that age where he likes guns and knives. He’s not playing
real guns but fake ones in the park, at home and wherever he can. So I have been a little apprehensive about this new interest in guns and weapons. So Cory, my son, has probably picked up on my uneasiness with his fake-weapon interest. And last week this courageous five year old came into the kitchen and asked me “Dad, would you like me better if I didn’t have this interest in guns now?” Wow. It was as if everything came to a screeching halt. This was the moment. It felt as if everything was about to change. And so I dug deep and truthfully told Cory, “No, I wouldn’t like you any better. And honestly we might lose something if you don’t get a chance to safely express your interests” and he was visibly relieved. His body relaxed. His mind was eased. His spirit was encouraged.

And then Cory went on to assure his father he is still kind and this is just an interest he has right now. What a kid. I am impressed with this story on multiple levels but first – Cory came to his Dad and gave him an opportunity to help him relax into unconditionally loving himself and feeling loved. As well as his dad recognized this teachable moment. I believe it’s in these simple yet potent moments that realizations are spurred.

In that second

Cory’s Dad felt the weight of his son’s question. My hope is that it helps Cory realize that there is no better and right here, right now he is fully and completely loved as he is right now. His Dad’s love doesn’t get greater or lessen depending upon his actions but just is. And while the affect of this moment won’t ever be scientifically calculated my gut is there will be one.

And catching those moments, I know, isn’t always easy. But if we slow ourselves down to really hear the depth of our children’s questions and what lies underneath – the moments will surface. This much I know is true.

© 2009
By Maureen Healy
No portion of this may be reproduced without written permission of the author.